today again
well let's see.. I think I reallly fall in love with my friend.. but he never ever see me and I never try to talk to him..
but then again.. when I think about it.. having best friends who are boys and 2 of them my e-boy.. doesn't make it any better.. then they just.. well kinda.. said that they have another girl.. but I wonder why that broke my heart?

well Taylor said that I might get jealous.. but I think not... maybe??

my project
soo this last few week I have been working on a project.. and it really is taking my time...
first make a little sail boat then I make a research about lecturer in my college...

then there are lots of test..

and here I am complaining at LJ....

and my fic is on hiatus... god.. noooooo half of my life is ruined......

but there's december coming and there's holiday on december..


test? no way
so here I am one day before my mid term test.. and I haven't study at all....
because after 3 days going without any connection to internet.. I went to my friend's room and hi-jack her computer... nice right...? ;)

I have started to write at fictionpress.. and I think.. I love it!! I got my first reviewer and my first alert.... it is heaven for me......

oh and on last thing


my bitch ex-friend
seriuosly.. I just randomly post on my skype this
"oh okay.. have you think that maybe you never try to talk to me just because I have new friend?

come on it was all in me.. I come to you room!!!! you have those friends then what? you completely blew me off then what you do?? you talk to those friends

can you let go of the past?? just because when you asked me to bring your wallet and I accidentally bring that wallet home doesn't mean I wanna be a thief.. I regret that!! I even go to another city to meet you and bring your wallet back!!! I was ALONE!! I don't have anybody driving me there....

do you know that I am normal human!!! I cry too......... I have feeling and I am SAD AND COMPLETELY DESTROYED!!!!!!

and yet you kept using that as and excuse for my fault? what kind of friend you are?? IF I AM HEARTLESS.... I wouldn't care if you should take the wallet or not

what should I do? you know about girls and best friends

no internet last night
so I went to one of my relative village somewhere and they don't have internet connection...... how uncool is that....
that's why god I feel like dying

and my day didn't get any better... come on college... get real.. we have life too... stop giving us tests!! and Alex didn't make it easier....

he just went on about I should visit him and went to his place which is half world to me and went on about letting him taking care of anything including the visa ticket.... like hell.....
gosh didn't help my world at all.....

then one of my friend just randomly post that I like one of the boy in my class... and I hope tomorrow will ended up smoothly... because I don't actually ogle every boy and didn't actually talk about boys and having crush with the rest of female popularity... doesn't mean I like girls or want to be set on blind dates

maybe just because I didn't use tight clothes aaaaand mini skirt.. boys never look at me.. so what? I am happy and I hate it when I actually became topic on everybody talk....
people because I am 5'10" doesn't mean I am a robot or monster!! I used to love my height now... I hate it!! because I am that tall.. it is hard to find fit'-on-body clothes.... and baggy clothes actually helping to not get pick up randomly on the way home....

I just want to have normal life.. and somehow my life ended up mess.. but I am glad I can write in here.. LJ you rock

ooh and I want to re-united with my junior high student but? any idea how?

Alex you are stupid
okay ma name is iris..(my pen name.. but hell this is my actual name.. but just call me iris.. end of discussion)
almost all of the entries will be diary... and since I love to write it will be like bitc~ erhm complaining

first I have my lovers.. but not boyfriend... he is Alexander James Ortiz.. I know.. his name is stupid
we are not dating.. really but we just together..... because well stupid reason like dating make life hell.. that's why we just together...

we together like this from May,20 2009... I know.. looooong time but I never ever meet him in person now.. I just call and web cam... but it is just stupid
because he never bothered to correct the phrase that WE ARE NOT DATING.. and act like I am his girl... then well me being single doesn't matter.. for the whole year..
what do you expect? he is handsome.. beautiful and funny... just out of my league

first year.. it's normal.. couple of fights here and there.. but never serious...

then entering the first month after a year.. it was all bout jealous

like I am his girl.. he never let me talk to other guy.. GOD!! annoying he just delete the mail.. open my facebook and pretend to be me...
then he act like I should call him.. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXPENSIVE INTERNATIONAL CALL.... sshaaaaa

then now.. a stupid 15 years old asking me to be his girl...(I am 17.. soo what? I wanna accept him anyway) but I was just... scared..
what he will do? what he will said? if he open that mail.... heck.. one thing I know I am dead.. the boy's turn to ash

guess my life is suck and stupid.....
who wanna change?


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